I’m stilllllllll knocked up.

Yesterday, I ventured into some maternity and baby stuff boutiques along Southport, for the first time. As this is a relatively ritzy shopping district, I didn’t come across any really good inappropriate onesies. I did come across some very expensive baby and maternity clothes however. Kinda of funny for clothes that are for a most temporary time of one’s life. Adorable tiny sweaters–unbelievable that a tiny human being fits into them, and what’s more, that that tiny human being will come from me.

I spent a bit of the afternoon with Michelle, a newer friend who has a 3 month old, and I was extremely encouraged to learn that her baby started sleeping through the night at six weeks. Like, 8-9 hours a night. Now, I realize many babies don’t do this, but I thought NONE of them did, so this was a bit of encouraging news. I just had this idea that for a very long time, I’d be getting up every two hours.

I’d hoped to retain some sense of my own identity, but I can see how easily a person becomes baby-obsessed. I know I’ve written this before, but I marvel still at how my priorities immediately shifted, my list of very important stuff changed completely.

My mother still isn’t on board with this yet. I know that once the baby arrives, and once we have a more certain set-up, and hopefully once we are not just getting by, but doing well, she will be a most adoring grandmother. I know this distance she keeps is based in worry and fear. It isn’t a moral kind of judgment; we weren’t raised in any religious faith. If I were better off and maybe a homeowner to boot here in Chicago, I really think the news would have been more warmly received.

It is what it is.